these are the words that resonate through my bodily experience after class tonight. the world speaks.. and we listen. or not. for me it's a question of intergrity. do we choose to hear, see, taste, feel what is right in front of us. the aboriginal australians supposedly taught that when you sit in a circle what you see in the person across from you reflects yourself back to you. or as patty likes to remind us whatever you notice in another person says more about yourself than the other person.
stop for a moment to consider this. sounds ok, right? rings true on some level? bullshit. we dismiss it. we accept and dismiss it at the same time. perhaps it seems too simple, not subtle enough, not difficult enough. like the concept of self-love.. nice idea but farfetched and too simplistic. but maybe not at all...
what if this life really is refracted light reflected back to us infinitely? what if these echoes of syncronicity are actually a complex symphony of perfectly arranged "notes" to self, folding in on themselves.
i go to class and the yoga lady at the front of the room speaks to my condition, perhaps to the condition of us all there lying on our mats, alone inside our own universes of anxieties, fear of change threatening to overtake us! she speaks directly to us, to our hearts and minds. is it that she is only being honest with herself and us?
more and more i have faith that when we speak our truth we are speaking for the world and when we hear truth it is the world speaking through someone who is willing to open up their mouth and be honest. which entails being vulnerable, always, in one sense or another.
the four agreements introduced me to the idea (or maybe consolidated an idea that i already had in mind) that our words are incredibly powerful and have the ability to shape our reality. when we speak with integrity (which often entails vulnerability) we have the power to connect, to create, to heal ourselves, others and our world. i believe this.
i am realizing an equally important piece is to listen with integrity. we so often reshape what we see and hear to make things "easier" on ourselves (we assume incorrectly). if something brings up feeling we may look away or turn our deaf ear. we get so locked up. we get so inflexible and stuck in this way. we only want to hear what will support our current position our current posture.. even at times when that position, stance, posture is killing us on some level. death drive. not listening to the resonance of our innate inner intelligence manifest in the outside world means certain death!
ha! well, not quite! not SO dramatic or quickly. but it is laying the foundation, samskaras, habits, tangles, traintracks that we become locked on to... headed in the complete opposite direction of said intelligence. we dumb ourselves down, numb ourselves out, try to not hear, forget, ignore. which is actually a lot of work and not as easy as we had hoped.
the good news is.. it seems to me the world continues to speak to us.. sometimes it screams in fact. and all we can or have to do is move in the direction that is right, that is flowing, that is easy, downstream. let the momentum carry us away from what is no longer right in ourselves. relearn the process of noticing. hone our discretion. allow the small alienated intelligent voices inside us to grow stronger and have more influence, make sure their votes get counted and that the community of parts within us becomes more democratic, more unified rather than dictated by fears and desires (small d= instant gratifications).
what helps with this process:
talking to people you respect and trust
patience with and care for yourself
trusting what the world says when it speaks to you.